clicktokill.net

OMG.

It’s 2009 already? You’re kidding me. Like, seriously. And it’s been a rather long while since I actually blogged. Either the thrill of blogging has worn off or that my life is about as interesting as mold growing on bread. But ok, for uhm…. posterity’s sake, I’ll do a quick 2008 year in review. Which is going to be damn hard because I can’t remember a lot and my memory’s pretty much shot to hell.

Let’s see what’s the most memorable. It’s gonna be pretty jumbled and not accurate in terms of the date and when such and such happened.

Quitting the Agency and going Client-side

From familiar waters to something completely new. I had the experience gained from the year in V to launch me into another level of my career. Though it doesn’t help to make me feel accomplished since my mom just came in that my godsis (who is the same age as I am) is doing her Ph.D and is being sponsored by her company and appears in the papers. So uhm… yeah. Client-side is a lot more different than from being in the Agency. I’ve realised and perhaps even appreciated the way we (V) worked then as a team. I try to stay away from being that much a bitch of a client. The biggest downside is that while they’re all having a break from December 26th till January 5th, I’m slogging it out in the office. Could explain why I’ve fallen sick. Not a matter of overworking, just the stale stale air. But I’m taking home a lot more, in terms of pay, at the new job.

Getting my driver’s license!

Now this, was awesome. Thank God that I had a nice tester and that the second time round my instructor was a man who was really teaching me things and how to drive instead of sleeping in the passenger seat. I can almost recall how my hands trembled in disbelief when he marked me as ‘pass’ and I was asking him if he was sure. I had to rush to work after that though but the sensation was still, so immensely and inescapably sweet.

Bintan with the Boy

We went for our little escape right after I failed my first driving test. Get away from all the painful (or embarassing) memories and of Singapore. It brought us closer to each other - all the crazy wackinesss, playing with light sticks, sitting by the beach in the evening, FOOD! traevlling to random bits of the island and taking pictures, him trying to teach me how to ‘take down’ a person and failing.

Incubus!

Yes, I saw Brandon Boyd in the flesh. Anna Molly had never sounded so much more beautiful in my ears since then. My first ever official rock concert. With the moshing and the heat and humidty and the throng of bodies pressed up against each other, virgin rock experience.

Uhm… there’s more but I’m being chased by the parents because we’re cleberating the brother’s birthday. Oldoldoldold! Just thinking about it reminds me that I’m turning 24. THIS YEAR! The horror. It’s a toss-up between going to the doctor or self-medication. Sadly, this isn’t one job that seems to be compensating me for my medical bills. Sigh.

I think to say that I’m bored and lonely is wrong. Not bored. Just that I need to keep myself occupied from missing someone too much. Last night was the first time I had ever been to Butter Factory. Bumped into waaaaaay too many faces and am pretty pretty much surprised by how much younger they all were. GASP! Either that or I’m really old. Dancing with girls I just met that night, face-painting, 5-10 with watered down Vodka Cranberry. Asahi is not my cup of tea but well.. t’was on tap. Then there was the walking to Zouk, as a huge group whereby I decided my body wasn’t going to make it and tossed myself into a cab for home. Could say I enjoyed myself and after awhile electro and rnb all sound the same. Or that electro sounds more like mambo. See la. You see the association, mambo leads to who?

Ok. Maggie for breakfast after a swim. Parents left without food for me to a wedding.

HE CALLED!

Ok. Breakfast feels so much better. :P Come home quick!

I’m going to miss you. Plenty.

We’re not always given the chance to be able to fully understand our emotions. We feel because we simply do and there is nothing that we can truly do about it. Even despite all the rationalization, the logical reasoning, the heart is still stubborn and adamant in feeling what it feels and while you sometimes succeed in overpowering (or overwhelming it), there are those moments where everything seems so futile and hopeless. You find yourself just wallowing in self-pity.

Even the most seemingly secure of persons need to be assured, need to know that they won’t just be tossed aside when the new flavour of the week comes along.

Love is still something that’s scary and unfathomable to me. Along the lines of what happened in The Day The Earth Stood Still; at the very precipice are we able to change and evolve.

perhaps now i’m envious of those who have their couple moments and couple things.

if this is a reflection of what married life would be like; it’s painfully lonely.